Is Comparison the Thief of Joy?
“Man was created for greatness—for God himself; he was created to be filled by God. But his heart is too small for the greatness to which it is destined. It must be stretched” (Pope Benedict XVI).
Young and old alike, we have a tendency to compare ourselves with our peers, both in our possessions and our ability. Does comparison breed a health competition, where we better the world by improving ourselves, or does it lead to greed and ungratefulness?
As a financial planner, I frequently witness these comparisons in terms of finances. As an athlete, I witness comparisons when it comes to physical fitness and body image. As a mom, I witness it among my kids and their friends.
The more I witness comparison in different aspects of life, the more I think it is a two-edged sword. After all, God calls us to use our talents and even tells us to “be perfect, just as your heavenly Father is perfect” (Matthew 5:48). Doesn’t it require some comparison to know if we are on the path to perfection (even if we feel it is unlikely we will ever get there)? On the other hand, we are called to be grateful for the gifts God has given us and not to covet our neighbors’ goods (Exodus 20:17, Deuteronomy 5:21).
When we wrestle with these dilemmas, God is calling us on to greater understanding of his will. So often, we are looking for a one-size-fits-all answer, when in reality, we need to discern what God is calling us to do individually.
Competition has been around as long as humanity has been around. That doesn’t mean it is a virtue; sin has existed since the fall. However, there does seem to be good fruit that comes from competition. It pushes us to work harder, grows our knowledge, and has led to many accomplishments. Our society and economy in the United States relies on competition to function properly. Competition allows the prices of goods and services to stay within appropriate levels of society’s demands. Competition allows for major advances in technology and deeper knowledge of subjects God has created.
Is there a point where there is too much knowledge? Or, does knowledge of creation lead to knowledge of the Creator? Some of the most well-known scientists and inventors throughout history were also devout Catholics.
Financial Comparison
What about competition in regards to finances? Where does comparing our financial situation with the people around us lead? Does it lead to something better or greater? Does it lead us to greed or envy? Many would argue that comparing our finances with the finances of the people around us tends to lead us to the “want of money” that St. Paul says “is the root of all evil” (1 Timothy 6:10).
When we jump to comparison, we can look too much at what someone else has and not enough at what God is calling us to. On the other hand, maybe it depends on whom we are comparing ourselves to and why. Can it be virtuous to strive to have a financial situation like that of someone with a good grasp on the meaning of money and how to use it prayerfully?
Yes, but we need to be careful. It’s prudent to ask that person for advice or maybe use some of their methods to save, pay off debt, and prepare for the future. Comparison in terms of how we use our money or our spending and saving habits can lead to helpful knowledge and fruitful ideas.
What Do You Seek?
The most important part, though, is remembering that we each have a unique vocation. God does not necessarily call my neighbor to use her finances in the same way He calls me to use mine. Discernment is essential if we enter into these comparisons. With prudence and self-awareness, I believe they can be helpful and good.
So, what about competition? What about fundraising competitions? Aren’t they good for the organization? Or is the organization just seeking as much money as possible? Consider for a moment the idea that with the right perspective on money, you, too, could see that “raising more money for yourself” (e.g., making more money, saving more money, paying off debt, having a better financial situation) is not all that different. You are in control of what that money is used for and how it can be distributed to benefit the people God is asking you to support.
It all comes down to where your heart lies and what you are seeking. Are you seeking money itself, or are you seeking money to accomplish God’s calling in your life?
Constantly comparing what we have to what others have can keep us from being grateful for the gifts God has given us, and it sure can steal our joy. As we fall into this trap, we also make assumptions based on what people have. As a financial adviser, I can tell you that there are many people with expensive items who are deep in debt and many others who drive a falling-apart car who are millionaires. Do not let these assumptions steal your joy. Focus, instead, on how you can improve yourself for our Lord. Keep in mind God’s generosity. He always provides.
Is there a chance that God is asking you to make more money and work particularly hard to provide for your family, your ministry, or a cause you want to support financially? Yes. Can you compete and set goals? Of course.
Just remember that your vocation is not the same as anyone else’s. We are all called to different levels of finances, of fitness, of knowledge. Comparison can be helpful in determining where we are within a category. After that, we must be strong in our discernment of where we are called individually. Knowing our strengths can lead us to our vocation and the paths God wants us to take—but we must never allow comparison or competition to get in the way of gratitude and trust in God.
Erica Mathews is a CERTIFIED FINANCIAL PLANNER™ Professional with Financial Counseling Associates, a small, family owned, independent, financial planning and investment management firm. She is passionate about helping families and individuals build their wealth so they can live out the calls God has placed on their hearts. As a wife, mom of four, and businesswomen, she understands the complexities of family life and helps relieve the burden of financial stress with organization, a plan, and automation so her clients hit their goals. She lives in Colorado with her husband and four kids. They love everything outdoors including gardening, hiking, biking and simply exploring nature. If you would like to reach out to Erica, her email is erica@fca-inc.com.