Discovering the Beauty of Quiet Leadership
“If you are what you ought to be, you will set fire to all Italy, and not only yonder” (St. Catherine of Siena).
One of my first managers, during an internship I had as an undergraduate, was an introvert. However, I wonder how many people would have known that fact about her if she hadn’t told us.
One brisk winter day, she took our team out to dinner. I noticed how she connected well with everyone and attended to the needs of each person she met—needs that were probably foreign to the average person. To put it simply, she didn’t just get along with people; rather, she knew them deeply. They, in turn, felt seen and understood.
If we were asked to picture a great leader, how many of us would call to mind someone like this?
Searching for the Ideal Leader
There are two main reasons why I think we resist the image of the introverted leader. One reason is that American society tends to privilege gregariousness as an ideal leadership quality. In Susan Cain’s pivotal book Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World that Can’t Stop Talking, she looks at the cultural evolution in America that began around the 1920s in which Americans began focusing on the outer self (rather than inner self) in performance, entertainment, and perceptions. Americans soon embraced personality and charm over character and virtue.
As the “Culture of Personality” emerged, Cain notes, Americans were “urged to develop an extroverted personality … But nowadays we tend to think that becoming more extroverted not only makes us more successful, but also makes us better people.” According to Cain, extroversion became not just an appealing personality trait but a standard that business schools (notably Harvard Business School) and employers looked for in its candidates.
The second reason is we hold a lot of misconceptions of what a true introvert looks like. One common misconception, for instance, is that introversion is the same as shyness, or experiencing fear or anxiety in social situations. Introverts, however, are generally not shy and enjoy engaging in long and deep conversations.
So, What Is an Introvert?
We can trace back the idea of introversion to Carl Jung’s work in the 1920s. Today, we are most likely to see it on personality tests like the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator or the “Big 5” personality assessment. Most psychologists agree that introverts and extroverts are distinguished by the level of external stimulation they need to function well. It’s important to remember, though, that most people fall somewhere on a spectrum from introversion to extroversion.
Introverts prefer less stimulation, whereas extroverts appreciate the extra stimulation that comes from being with people. Introverts find energy in their own company through thinking, reading, and reflecting. Extroverts receive energy when they’re in the company of others.
Introverts and extroverts also tend to work differently. Extroverts tend to work quickly, making fast-paced decisions. Introverts, on the other hand, tend to work more deliberately, focusing on one task at a time with strong concentration. They reserve social energy for close friends and family, prefer listening over talking, and sometimes find expressing themselves in writing to be easier than in conversation. Introverts, according to Cain, “are more likely to hear and implement suggestions.”
The Virtues of Introversion
The distinction between extroverts and introverts can have its place in how we strive to understand people and work with them more effectively. However, a more valuable way of approaching this kind of discussion is to focus on virtues. What gifts and virtues can I discover through my claim to being an introvert? How can I harness those gifts and virtues for the good of the people I lead and serve?
Through their passion, keen sense of observation, and reflective nature, introverts can elevate their proclivity for truth and substance and lead others to see the deep meaning behind what they do. Three practical ways for anyone to become a good, virtuous leader include:
Embracing the reading life. Reading allows us to nurture our inner life and expand our moral imagination, enabling us to better understand and connect with others.
Connect one on one. I loved meeting with my so-called introverted leader one on one, because we were able to develop a friendship that transcended our work life. We knew one another and could trust one another.
Work with humility. Sometimes, the work that a leader needs to do isn’t enjoyable, but we should do it in a spirit of quiet surrender and humility.
Jody C. Benson is a freelance writer and editor. She is the author of Behold: A Reflection Journal Where Wonder, Creation, and Stewardship Meet. She also writes a newsletter that ponders the creative life. Learn more about her at jodycbenson.com.