Reframing and Rehumanizing Sales: Add Value Using Your Feminine Genius
“She enjoys the profit from her dealings; her lamp is never extinguished at night. … She makes garments and sells them, and stocks the merchants with belts. … Acclaim her for the work of her hands, and let her deeds praise her at the city gates” (Proverbs 31:18, 24, 31).
At some point, we’ve all worked with a salesperson who was … well … slimy. Whether it was a stereotypical dishonest used car salesman, a retail employee who couldn’t be bothered to help us make a purchase, or an enterprise sales rep who tried to sell us a solution we didn’t actually need, everyone has at least one story of sales gone wrong.
Personally, I think sales needs a touch of the feminine genius. It needs more of what Pope St. John Paul II called “the insight which is so much a part of [our] womanhood,” which can “enrich the world's understanding and help to make human relations more honest and authentic.”
Julie Thomas, president and CEO of ValueSelling Associates, is using her feminine genius to make human relations more honest and authentic in sales. Her new book, The Power of Value Selling: The Gold Standard to Drive Revenue and Create Customers for Life, is not a religious book, isn’t just for women, and doesn’t mention the feminine genius—but it’s full of it.
Note: I have worked with Julie Thomas in the past, as her company was a client at a previous employer of mine. I currently have no relationship with her or her company.
What Is Value Selling?
Value selling is a framework Thomas’ company uses to train salespeople to improve results. It’s “a simple process to manage the conversation with prospects and develop a mutual understanding regarding how you and your organization can add value to the buyer and their business.”
The book explores this framework and shares examples to help B2B (business-to-business) sales reps and managers make better connections with prospects and customers. It’s not about upselling or growing accounts, although those are outcomes that may occur. Rather, it’s about focusing on relationships and connecting on a human, not financial, level.
From a Transactional to a Consultative Mindset
Whether you’re a sales professional, an entrepreneur, or someone else for whom sales is sometimes required, it’s important to stop thinking of sales as simply transactions and start thinking of the sales role as a consultative role. “In doing so,” writes Thomas, “you’ll forge trusted business relationships and uncover the value that motivates individuals to act with urgency.”
We buy because we need to solve a problem, and as Thomas writes, “People don’t like to be sold to—they like to buy.” Your job is to determine whether or not your solution will solve a particular person’s problem. Finding out requires having genuine conversations and asking lots of questions, rather than assuming that your scripts and price negotiations are all that you need. Draw on your empathy (a key component of the feminine genius) to understand what the buyer needs, and then figure out—together—whether your solution can meet that need.
Thomas’ book includes a questioning technique that can help: the O-P-C questioning technique:
Open-ended: Questions should be simple but not answered by a “yes” or “no.”
Probing: Questions should help both you and the buyer understand the business problem from all angles.
Confirming: Questions should help you confirm that you’re on the same page as your prospect.
“Selling isn’t telling—it’s connecting.”
We all need to be better at connecting with people at work, especially in a distributed and often lonely workplace. Today’s buyers have access to much more information than they need, which means that today’s sellers don’t need to spend time telling prospects about their products; they need to spend time connecting with them as fellow human beings. As Thomas puts it, “Selling isn’t telling—it’s connecting.”
“We become memorable when we delight customers and bring unexpected value that impacts their lives and professional experiences,” she adds. “Every conversation should have a purpose and the capacity to make a positive difference.”
The person on the other side of the phone from you isn’t just a number in your sales funnel. They’re a person made in the image and likeness of God. Sell to them like you’d sell to Him.
Taryn DeLong is a Catholic wife and mother in North Carolina who serves as co-president and editor-in-chief of Catholic Women in Business. Her first book, written with her co-president Elise Crawford Gallagher, will be out in fall 2024 from Ave Maria Press. Connect with Taryn: Instagram • Facebook • LinkedIn • Blog • Substack