Called to Kindness: Why Being Nice Isn’t Enough

“If we wish to serve God and love our neighbor well, we must manifest our joy in the service we render to Him and them. Let us open wide our hearts. It is joy which invites us. Press forward and fear nothing” (St. Katharine Drexel).

While “be kind” may seem like nothing more than a bumper slogan, the command might carry more meaning than we think. At both home and work, we have the power to transform culture in both small and large ways, because we are invited to be the face of Christ in every moment.

What does that look like, and how do we live that belief out?

In “The Hidden Power of Kindness: A Practical Handbook for Souls Who Dare to Transform the World, One Deed at a Time,” Father Lawrence G. Lovasik argues that acts of kindness transform souls. In my various jobs, I’ve always tried to be polite and respectful. However, when I reflect more on kindness, I think I fell short and missed many opportunities to anticipate the needs of others.

Lovasik describes this anticipation as “obligingness,” which calls you to meet a need before anyone asks. “Obligingness,” he says, “is an act of charity even more beautiful than a simple readiness to serve another.”

Now, we might wonder: What if I struggle with pleasing people too much? What if my energy is already depleted? The key to kindness is in the deeds themselves. They are often small, but they grow out of kind thoughts, words, and acts strengthened by truth.

Kindness and the Christian Witness

We can distinguish kindness from niceness. Kindness helps us become a true Christian witness in our work. I often hear people lament how difficult it is to evangelize at work, especially in secular spaces. But, I think we are also misguided on what true and good evangelization looks like.

Evangelization doesn’t always need charisma. It often looks like friendship built on a foundation of kindness—a kindness that is often quiet, unassuming, and hidden.

Giving and Receiving Correction Well

What about when we need to correct others? Lovasik offers some practical tips for giving correction:

  • Start your correction with praise.

  • Share your own weaknesses before you criticize another.

  • Ask questions rather than give demands.

  • Honor others’ reputation.

He also explains how we can receive correction graciously: 

  • Listen, and don’t interrupt. 

  • Offer to reflect seriously on the matter at hand.

  • Resist any outburst or arrogant response.

  • Practice gratitude, recalling God in all moments.

Bringing the Light of God to Others

Kindness is a virtue that goes beyond what mere niceness can offer. But, like any virtue, it takes some interior work to cultivate. Silence, prayer, and contemplation help us to see where we are lacking and what we can do to become better. After the interior work, we must go out and act.

Unlike niceness, kindness is an act of charity that gives joy to others—and it does more than transform your workplace. It trickles into the culture, bearing the mark of holiness so that more people can see a glimpse of God’s light in a world that’s often shrouded in darkness.


Jody C. Benson is a freelance writer and editor. She is the author of “Behold: A Reflection Journal Where Wonder, Creation, and Stewardship Meet.” She also writes a newsletter that ponders the creative life. Learn more about her at jodycbenson.com.