Finding Peace While Working From Home With Children
“The loveliest masterpiece of the heart of God is the heart of a mother” (St. Thérèse of Lisieux).
For the past few years, I’ve wondered about the secret to balancing the work-from-home life with motherhood. But I’ve begun to realize that the reality of life as a working mother is much more nuanced than what the language of “balance” can offer. The word “balancing” suggests that we strive to invest an equal amount of time or energy into our work and our motherhood. But our motherhood doesn’t stop when our work begins, and sometimes, our work is carried into our domestic life. It’s helpful to discern when this is good and when it can cause problems.
On Work and Family Life
Research suggests that, for the most part, a parent’s career does not have a negative impact on children. Work is problematic when it becomes a distraction or obsession that disrupts being present with our children.
Once I noticed my five-year-old son taking a genuine interest in my work, I realized that I didn’t need to keep all of my work separate from my time with him. I invite him into my creative world by telling him about the poetry I’m writing or the content I’m creating. He also likes to read my newsletter and offers his feedback when I’m preparing for a presentation. The other side of my work—answering emails and completing editing projects—I reserve for my working hours. Recognizing the parts of my work he takes interest in and wants to learn about takes practice and prudence.
Growing up, work wasn’t part of our family conversation. And, whenever we didn’t discuss something, my mind worked to fill in the gaps: What made work something that nobody wanted to talk about? How does one establish a right relationship to work?
3 Ways to Invite Work Into Family Life With Intentionality
1. Practice Virtue in Your Work
When our children see how our work shapes us and helps us flourish, they understand how work can honor our dignity and be a source of goodness for our family. Virtues like patience and prudence, in particular, help us to order our lives toward the ultimate good, to pursue sanctity, and to accept our human failings with grace and humility.
2. Find Ways for Your Children to Participate
I’ve noticed that when I explain to my son what I do as a writer, and he sees my book and newsletters, it sparks his own creativity to write and create. While children are constantly being asked what they want to be when they grow up, we have the opportunity to show them what it means to live our vocation and share our gifts with the world through work.
3. Welcome Interruptions
As a creative, I am sympathetic to the challenges of just wanting to make and create but feeling like there isn’t enough time. I saved a reflection by Venerable Madeleine Delbrêl from my Magnificat years ago that now hangs on our refrigerator as a reminder of how God’s timing works. She wrote:
We receive each morning and each day in its entirety from the hands of God. God gives us a day which has been prepared for us by him. … Each minute of our day, wherever we’re supposed to be and whatever we’re supposed to be doing, allows Christ to live through us in the midst of human beings.
Our domestic life teaches us so many lessons in virtue as we meet the needs of our vocation. It can feel like setting aside our creative dreams, but interruptions teach us how to be open to receive as God’s will what He puts before us.
The Good of Work
Our work can be a means of evangelizing even in the small corner of our domestic life. But we need to be clear on the purpose of work and its relationship to our identity as a daughter of God. The Catechism of the Catholic Church says:
Human work proceeds directly from persons created in the image of God and called to prolong the work of creation by subduing the earth, both with and for one another. Hence work is a duty: “If any one will not work, let him not eat.'“ Work honors the Creator’s gifts and the talents received from him (2427).
Our culture has established some dysfunctional norms related to work. We hear the echoes of these norms in slogans like “work hard; play hard” or ideals like achieving fortune and status at any cost. But, when we look at the Catechism, we are reminded of how to pursue good work, establish a right relationship to our work, and understand the purpose of our work.
Jody C. Benson is a freelance writer and editor. She is the author of Behold: A Reflection Journal Where Wonder, Creation, and Stewardship Meet. She also writes a newsletter that ponders the creative life. Learn more about her at jodycbenson.com.