5 Ways to Unlearn the Art of Overachieving
“Virtue is the golden mean between two vices, the one of excess and the other of deficiency” (Aristotle).
I often repeat three Bible verses to myself: “Be still and know that I am God” (Psalm 46:11), “Have no anxiety at all” (Philippians 4:6), and “I will give you rest” (Matthew 11:28).
Yet, I experience restlessness when I don’t feel like I’m achieving a tangible outcome or goal. In fact, rest is something I am still actively learning to enjoy; even observing the Sabbath is a struggle for me. The old saying “If you want something done, ask a busy person” has been my interior disposition—and an accidental glorification of productivity.
A ticked-off to-do list, or one more side hustle, is where I used to place my pride and identity. In my current state of life as a single woman, I find myself with a deep longing and desire to nurture and create, realizing the value I attach to my productivity. My outcomes have too often defined and completed me.
I’ve cultivated a practice of overachieving over the years. Here are five things I’m doing to unlearn that lesson:
1. Maintain Healthy Boundaries
Fast Company recently published an article that stated so eloquently, WWhile high achievement is great when accompanied by a strong sense of self and clear boundaries, overachievement is obsessive.”
After always chasing the next dopamine hit, I realized my goal posts were getting further and further away. I was no longer pursuing goals but, rather, unachievable ideals.
Now, I’m trying to balance this natural—and good—drive to achieve with the sobering reality that I am more than what I produce and that the best “good” I can achieve is in being, not doing.
2. Focus on the Only Goal That Matters
As a Catholic revert, I’ve found myself overcorrecting to such a degree that I’ve been more focused on what I don’t want to do rather than who I want to be: a saint.
It made me think about how the word “over” as a prefix for anything is unhealthy. (Unless, perhaps, we’re talking about over-communicating, which is becoming more needed across our personal and business relationships for the pursuit of clarity.)
Think about it: overdo, overwhelm, overthink, overpower, overestimate, overrate … the list goes on.
It’s so easy to believe the lie that we are only whole when we’re in good circumstances, winning, or hitting our next milestone. But God never promised us that living on a fallen earth would be easy.
When I view life as if I’m on a 24/7 pilgrimage, it radically changes my perspective. Every minute is another opportunity for me to get “it” right—“it” being sainthood.
Of course, being a saint isn’t simple—and yet it is simple acts that will lead us there: smiling when you feel exhausted, offering to help when you’re on a deadline, praying when your mind is distracted by a million things.
Every morning is a new opportunity for us to strive toward the collective vocation we are all called to: sainthood. Scripture tells us, “The Lord’s acts of mercy are not exhausted, his compassion is not spent; They are renewewed each morning—great is your faithfulness” (Lamentations 3:22-23).
So, here’s to new mornings—to not overachieving and not overexhausting but to embracing the Little Way, as encouraged by St. Thérèse of Lisieux.
3. Chase Virtue, Not Dopamine
Knowing that virtue is the mean between two extremes made me rethink how I work, wanting to replace being an overachiever with a healthy, high achieving ethic.
And since moderation is always the aim (as agreed by philosophers from Aristotle to Plato who all voiced that excess is to be avoided), I’m adamant that my ultimate to-do list has to be centred around virtue – growing pains and all.
St. Thomas Aquinas unpacks this idea even further with the humbling quote: ‘perfection of moral virtue does not wholly take away the passions, but regulates them.’
How refreshing to know that part of our human condition is to desire less-than virtuous things: ego-stroking praise, human respect, status… and yet, we can still work toward balancing these said desires, orienting them to not only do good, but to be good.
4. Embrace and Prioritize Rest
Days that never feel long enough, combined with mounting tasks on our to-do list, become a one-stop shop to burnout when we measure our worth on what we do, rather than who we are.
In the Biblical story of creation, God Himself rested on the seventh day (Genesis 2:2). It wasn’t because God grew faint or weary but because he wanted to rest and enjoy what He had created. In this way, resting is an act of justice toward ourselves, others, and God in His created order.
Grounded in Scripture, rest is something Catholicism has a long tradition of honoring and affirming, so why do many of us struggle with it as a concept? Understanding rest as something God specifically carved out for us takes away any scrupulosity or confusion between rest and sloth. It isn’t laziness; it’s obedience.
5. Let Go of Perfectionism
My addiction to toxic productivity kept me from living in the present moment. When we obsess about an imagined future, our real present will never feel like enough. I found myself paralyzed with wanting things done “just right,” and this disordered desire for perfectionism ironically ended up as procrastination coupled with indecision fatigue.
Now, when I find myself overthinking, overdoing, overexerting or overachieving, I want to embrace doing “enough.” In striving to reach Aristotle’s “Golden Mean” (also known as “the virtue continuum”), I want to replace pride with diligence and “workaholicism” with temperance.
After all, as French Catholic novelist Léon Bloy once wrote: “The only real sadness, the only real failure, the only great tragedy in life, is not to become a saint.”
Delphine Chui is a London-based cradle Catholic who experienced a life-changing heart conversion when she hit 30. A former women’s magazine journalist, Delphine now uses her writing talents for Christian advocacy organisation ADF UK, as well as running her own befriending charity, CareDogs. Having experienced cancel culture, Delphine can be found on Twitter sharing stories of people standing up for freedom of speech and the right to life or on YouTube speaking about discerning love in modern dating culture. You can connect with Delphine and say hi on Instagram or LinkedIn.