How to Work Without Getting Worked up
“We urge you, brothers, to progress even more, and to aspire to live a tranquil life, to mind your own affairs, and to work with your own hands, as we instructed you” (1 Thessalonians 4:10-11).
Working mothers are uniquely challenged to find time to care for ourselves amid the demands of parenting, marriage, and professional life—but responsibilities and strong maternal inclinations toward self-sacrifice can gradually lead to exhaustion and burnout if we don’t. Exercise and prayer time are often placed on the back burner as deadlines for work, homework, games, practices, grocery shopping, cleaning, cooking, and spouse and children’s needs press in and gobble up the hours of day.
When it seems like there is not enough time to accomplish everything on the to-do list, both exercise and silence can seem like a luxury. However, they are two aspects of self-care that mustn’t atrophy.
Good Dog, Bad Dog
My first dog Nalu was an American Bully. I learned quickly that if we did not care for him in a breed-specific way, dog ownership became difficult and unpleasant. Leaving my dog in his crate or the small side yard all day while my family was busy working and taxiing between school pick-ups, sports practices, games, and church and school events resulted in an agitated, rowdy, misbehaved dog. Despite our family’s active life, we had to find a way to care for Nalu’s physical needs so he could be the dog he was created to be—which was obedient, loving, loyal to the death, and strong.
Humans, like canines, have physical requirements that enable us to be who God created us to be and to navigate well the circumstances of everyday life. The reality of these natural laws could not have been more striking than on the day I decided to change the program with Nalu.
Nalu Goes Ballistic
I arrived home after a full day of work at my practice, two hours in traffic growing increasingly concerned about arriving at my son’s practice and carpool on time, purchasing what I needed from the grocery store to make dinner, and the science project that was left from the previous night and due the next day.
My plan was just to take the dog out to do his business, since I was barely going to make it to pick up the kids. As I opened the door, I was nearly blown over by the smell and was shocked to see Nalu thrashing wildly in his crate, both he and the crate covered in what had made the smell.
Mom Goes Ballistic
After the long trip to the bathtub, I stank, too, and was exasperated after wrestling a 70-pound muscular neurotic pit bull up the stairs. Then, I had a realization: A change was in order.
The mess and the smell; the wrestling match with my anxious, under-exercised dog; and the fact that I was overdue for a work out has remained a memorable reminder of the value of striking the right balance between the work of serving others and the work of caring for myself.
Go Dog Go
There is no argument about the necessity of physical activity in order to maintain quality of life across every category. My entire family learned that it’s true for dogs as well as humans, and we had took the opportunity to talk about the importance of exercise for Nalu and ourselves. Each member of my family pitched in and made an adjustment in his or her daily routine to help accomplish that change that we needed.
These changes include brief sprints up the hill behind our home before work, midday walks, and bringing Nalu with us to all of our activities that have outdoor access. When exercised sufficiently, Nalu is the best dog on the planet.
While I was not able to get to the gym the night of the crate fiasco, I was the next day—and the day after that.
It was night and day for me and for Nalu.
Making It Happen
It’s important that we take concrete action to secure enough time and space for physical and spiritual fitness. While the influence and value of prayer and Catholic faith practices are outside the purview of this brief article, I would be remiss if I failed to mention one without the other. Another article explores the topic of spiritual well-being and self-improvement.
Without the anchoring of regular moderate to vigorous exercise and a solid spiritual discipline, our efforts will fall flat, becoming just another series of things “to do” that drives lives toward a poopy crate. Below are three suggestions to kickstart the process:
Write down your goal for physical and spiritual well-being for the next month.
Secure three spots on your calendar in the upcoming week for some moderate exercise.
Try out an exercise class, such as from Pietra Fitness.
With the right spiritual disposition, the good work of maintaining physical health can be an anchor in the spiritual life. As St. Ignatius said, “Remember that bodily exercise, when it is well ordered, as I have said, is also prayer by means of which you can please God our Lord.”
Dr. Lisa Petronis is a licensed clinical psychologist, licensed marriage and family therapist, and certified master Catholic life coach. In addition to her private practice Dr. Lisa founded, Halleluya Living, helping Catholics break out from burnout so they can experience joy and peace in the “work” of prayer, the spiritual life and daily living. Dr. Lisa finds deep joy to serve God by serving up dinner every night for her family and serving the anawim in S. Sudan, Kingston Jamaica, juvenile detention facilities and through a local sports ministry with her husband and sons. Learn more at DrLisaPetronis.com and Halleluyaliving.com.