Femininity and the Woman's Vocation: Our Call to Love
“Live in a manner worthy of the Lord, so as to be fully pleasing, in every good work bearing fruit and growing in the knowledge of God” (Colossians 1: 10).
This year, Advent took on a different meaning for me, as I am amid the third trimester of pregnancy with my first child. My reflections surround the meaning and significance of maternity, as I ponder Mary’s journey to Bethlehem and all that was required of her as a woman and mother. Being a newlywed of just seven months, it wasn’t long ago that I made the transition from being a “single lady,” dreaming about the day that I would embark upon the journey of starting my own family.
The time is upon me, and it is surreal. I find myself caught in an in-between—remembering my thoughts and perceptions of motherhood pre-pregnancy and combining them with my perceptions now, as I carry this new life within me.
What has come to light is that maternity is deeply intertwined with the feminine nature. The two cannot be separated; maternity (no matter what form it takes) is an integrated part of what it means to be a woman. While this notion may be disputed in the public arena, I hold the belief that motherhood is meant for every woman, even if you are someone who hasn’t had or felt the inclination to have biological children. Yet, simultaneously, this call to motherhood looks different for every woman.
Motherhood is meant for every woman, even if you are someone who hasn’t had or felt the inclination to have biological children.
Edith Stein (also known as St. Teresa Benedicta of the Cross) is a great example. She wrote extensively on femininity and motherhood, despite never having been pregnant or having nursed an infant. She also never married, and yet she lived out her femininity and maternal instincts boldly. Stein, who was of Jewish descent and held a doctorate in philosophy, became an adult convert to Catholicism, entered the Carmelites, and died a martyr in a gas chamber at Auschwitz.
Stein’s witness is one that is highly relevant to our modern understanding of femininity; for the time period in which she lived, Stein was anything but status quo. She was a highly educated working woman and an independent thinker who renounced her family’s religious beliefs, found her way to Catholicism through tremendous study, and became a nun. Stein was a woman who used her intellect for the betterment of others and bore witness to the truth through her study and passion for philosophy, which became visible through her writings. At one point, Stein was denied a university position because she was a woman. In brief, her life exemplifies what it means to live out a woman’s feminine and maternal qualities by living out God’s call in her life and responding with her unique vocation.
Stein’s many essays reflect upon the feminine nature and womanhood and emphasize that every woman is called to motherhood and to be a spouse, not just those who marry and bear children. In the collected works of Edith Stein’s writings on femininity, Essays on Woman, she describes several qualities of womanhood when she says, “Woman naturally seeks to embrace that which is living, personal and whole. To cherish, guard, protect, nourish and advance growth is her natural, maternal yearning.”
This quote reflects how women are naturally inclined toward maternal instincts: to nurture growth in others, to bring to life realities that others may not see, and to be united with others (no wonder women are so social!). Stein emphasizes women’s capacity for maternity and the ability to “give life”—which is not solely a reference to giving birth. Rather, it means to live in a way so as to promote abundance and growth in the lives of others.
“Each woman who lives in the light of eternity can fulfill her vocation, no matter if it is in marriage, in a religious order, or in a worldly profession” (Edith Stein).
Motherhood looks different for each one of us. So to those who are spiritual mothers or consecrated women, to those who are single, to those struggling with infertility, to those who are foster mothers or adoptive mothers, to those who are stepmothers, mentors, or biological mothers: It is important that each of us knows that within us resides the gift of maternity—the innate capacities to nurture, to give, and to receive others in a way that men cannot. It is important that we remember that regardless of what type of motherhood we are called to, we are no greater or lesser than the woman next to us. Each woman is imbued with these gifts, but it’s up to us to ask what shape they take in our daily life.
Throughout her writings, Stein emphasizes a few other female qualities, including receptivity, generosity, and dignity. While every person should strive to live out these qualities, Stein’s premise is that they are innate to women, deeply embedded in our hearts. Perhaps one of her most poignant points is that women are keen and sensitive at finding ways to love. What a powerful testament to the irreplaceable value of women in the everyday! That said, all too often, I have encountered women holding back from boldly living their authentic femininity, particularly in the workplace.
Yes, even in the professional sphere we are called to embrace our womanhood and maternal qualities. To allow our feminine genius to shine means to live in a manner worthy of the Lord (Colossians 1:10), which means it should shine in every avenue and alleyway of our lives. These maternal and feminine qualities are meant for others to experience; they are, in fact, one way we draw others to participate in meaningful relationships.
Our feminine nature has the potential to radiate in many different ways within the workplace—perhaps in how we receive a new co-worker, our generosity (or lack thereof) to others in the office (especially when something doesn’t go well), how we confront others, how we lead a team or host an event, how we give and receive feedback, and how we communicate our thoughts and ideas. Most importantly, we can authentically live our feminine call while still doing all of these tasks.
There was a time in my life in which I struggled to embrace my feminine qualities. In retrospect, I can see that I was actually afraid to harness them, because I didn’t want to be seen as “weak” or like a “Barbie doll.” The reality is, I lacked self confidence and was insecure in my own identity. Over time, I realized this perception needed to be healed; once I began to embrace my feminine traits and the goodness of my heart’s desires, the ways in which I was giving actually began to shine more brightly, and others could tangibly feel and see the difference.
Femininity is a call to love. It’s real, it’s raw, it’s authentic, and it’s part of God’s design in the creation of woman.
The point is: People are attracted to authenticity—to people who understand their dignity and purpose. Thus, when femininity is lived out in its fullness, it is an attractive quality to both men and women. As Stein portrays, femininity is a call to love. It’s real, it’s raw, it’s authentic, and it’s part of God’s design in the creation of woman. Femininity does not mean that we are bound to conform to certain expectations but, rather, to live as God intended for us, allowing God to guide us and following His call—which is the first act of receptivity that we should commit to. When we open ourselves up to God’s design for us (even if we find it challenging), we are forever changed in the best way possible.
Having a child isn’t what makes you maternal. Rather, it is a reflection of your interior state and disposition toward your maternal qualities that enables your feminine genius to shine. If you are feeling stuck or are struggling to identify or embrace these aspects of yourself, I encourage you to dig deeper to ask yourself, “What is it that is keeping me from opening myself to these gifts?”
This Christmas season, I urge you to reflect upon Edith Stein’s words and to call to mind and accompany our Blessed Mother as she embraces her maternal qualities in becoming a mother, in the most unexpected and supernatural of ways. Each of us should seek to answer the everpresent call by asking ourselves: How am I called to love?
A native of Colorado, Krista graduated with her Bachelor’s degree in Religious Studies from the University of Colorado at Boulder and is currently pursuing a Master’s degree in Clinical Mental Health Counseling, with a specialization in traumatology, at Divine Mercy University. Krista has spent the last ten years working with youth and diverse populations in the non-profit sector in varying capacities, with an emphasis on mental health. Additionally, Krista has a background in international and domestic mission-based work and event coordination. Krista is passionate about helping others actualize their potential, the study of human flourishing, and the intersection of character, virtue, and leadership. Krista currently works at the Youth Leadership Foundation in Washington D.C. as the Director of Character and Mentorship. In her free time, Krista enjoys spending time outdoors, is a lover of spontaneous adventures, good cooking, and chai tea! Krista currently resides near Washington D.C. Visit her on her website or on Instagram @1iveinspired.