Work/Life Balance as a Single Catholic Woman
“My strength returns to me with a cup of coffee and the Psalms” (Servant of God Dorothy Day).
The modern workplace is dynamic and multidimensional in terms of settings, age groups, education, personalities, and seasons of life. It’s one of the few places in our society where we may have daily interactions with people who are very different from us.
Catholic women of every season of life—the single life, marriage, and/or motherhood—face the same struggles of living out our Catholic faith in the workplace and finding just the right work/life balance. These struggles are not unique, but we each experience them differently, through our unique personalities and season of life.
The Call to Holiness: Right Here, Right Now
As Catholic single women, it is tempting to brush aside this season and think that we will figure out these struggles once we are married and/or have children. But that perspective looks forward to the “someday” of marriage and family instead of living out the call of holiness in our single season.
But our call to holiness, and the task of balancing work and life in light of that call, is not a “someday” thought; it is a “right here, right now” thought. The season of singleness can be painful and hard; it can feel wasteful, unimportant, and a glance-over. This belief is a lie straight from the Enemy. The single season is purposeful, important, and a dive-deeper, because it is where God is calling you to be.
He is calling you to be a single Catholic woman in your particular workplace at this particular time to glorify and proclaim that “the kingdom of God is at hand” (Mark 1:15).
Finding Your “Why”
Our experiences as Catholic single women in the workplace are important, too. Just as married and working mothers need to hear work experiences from other married and working moms, we, too, need to hear other single women’s work experiences.
Many single women have a different experience than married working women, especially mothers. On the other hand, the workplace often has different expectations and perceptions of us. My Catholic single friends and I hear frequently that we have so much free time and should enjoy it. While our free time looks different than a married woman’s or a working mom’s, we have responsibilities to our family, friends, and community. If we recently graduated or moved to a new place, we are also using our free time finding and building a community.
From the work perspective, the single years are a season when we can probably put in long hours, cover shifts, go on trips, and/or complete intense projects. The question that we need to ask ourselves is why. Are we saying “yes” to everything because we want to and are excited about it? Is it to support our colleagues? Is it every now and then, or all the time? Are we doing too much and getting burnt out?
We need to ask ourselves those questions, because it can be easy to start feeling bitter and resentful toward our colleagues. We should not be saying “yes” because we think we have to because we are single. I wrestle with saying “yes” to many things, both at work and outside of work, and it can easily lead to bitterness. I need to give myself permission to consider whether I should be saying “yes” to a given task—and be OK if the answer is “no.”
Depending on our work situation (remote, hybrid, or in-person), you may go several days without interacting with people face to face, which can add to the loneliness of singleness. It can become too easy to keep to yourself instead of finding and belonging to a community. It’s a slippery slope toward being so self-sufficient that you shut out God.
Walking Together Toward Our Ultimate Goal
I’ve realized that I isolate the most during stressful and difficult times at work. This tendency has led to unhealthy habits of lots of fast food and long hours of mindless TV. Not only do I not feel great physically, but these habits are only a temporary relief that does not help the situation.
A different approach is connecting with a friend, cultivating a habit such as reading or embroidery, and—most importantly—talking with God. The hardest and best thing for us to do is find a group of women to walk with us. We can start with one person who is going to hold us accountable. Our group can include single women, married women, and mothers. All of us as Catholic women need to hear one another’s experiences of work and life to walk together toward our ultimate goal of Heaven.
It is so easy to get bogged down with all that it means to be single, Catholic, and a woman, but what matters is our “yes” to God right here, right now. It is OK to need a reminder that this season is holy. Our Father is not asking that we do this season alone. He is walking with us. He sees us and says that this season matters. Do we trust Him?
Trusting in the Lord’s plan is a day-by-day and season-by-season “yes” to becoming the daughter He created us to be. Let us all continue to gaze at the cross—and ask our Holy Mother’s intercession—for help in saying “yes” to the Lord and trusting that His plans for us are more wonderful than we could ever imagine.
Alexandra (Alex) Harrel resides in Irving, Texas. She is a new student affairs professional within the world of higher education. In her spare time, she loves reading, listening to podcasts, and spending time outdoors. Her favorite prayer is Hail, Holy Queen. You can follow her on Instagram at @2012alexandra.