True Friendship: The Examples of John and Mary
“There is nothing on this earth more to be prized than true friendship” (St. Thomas Aquinas).
As children, we took pride in deciding our “best friend,” announcing to the playground the official proclamation of whom we had selected. It was an honor to be someone’s best friend, and living up to the title was a challenge faced with marker-decorated pieces of artwork depicting hand-holding, kind words, and a name written in bubble letters. Life is simpler in childhood—but profound in ways adults should strive to remember.
Friendship as an adult is not just hard; it can feel impossible. Individuals grow apart over time, and it takes more effort to sustain a best friendship than it did when we were children. Alternately, as an adult, we often feel that we must soak up all our free time with thoughts of someone else in order to fuel a friendship. Too often, we criticize ourselves for being unresponsive or “meaning to reach out” while letting days and weeks pass without a word.
So, why take the time to do it? What is the true importance of friendship? How can we compassionately sustain meaningful friendships and relationships (and, for those of us who are mothers, how can we raise our children to do the same)?
The “Disciple Whom Jesus Loved”
St. John the Evangelist, the “beloved disciple,” was a true friend to Christ. He not only chose a more difficult life in being his follower and friend, but he devoted his life to Jesus’ teachings. He followed him through the impossible and ultimately led others to do the same. John experienced life with Jesus, through his sufferings and miracles. He witnessed his agony and pain in the garden of Gethsemane (Matthew 26:37, Mark 14:33) yet was present to experience miracles, such as the raising of Jairus' daughter (Luke 8:51, Mark 5:37). John was at the foot of the cross as Christ died painfully for our sins, and he agreed to care for his mother (John 19:26-27).
John stayed with Christ until his last breath. His friendship never wavered, never questioned, and never judged.
A Deeply Devoted and Loyal Friend
Like John, Mary Magdalene was not only a friend to Christ but gave all she had to support his ministry. She, too, was with Christ at the cross (Mark 15:40, Matthew 27:56, John 19:25). Mary was also the first person Christ appeared to after his resurrection, and she continued spreading his message even when the people around her cast doubt and fear (John 20:11-18). Mary began her life, prior to meeting Christ, in darkness (Mark 16:9). It was Christ’s teachings, love, and friendship that ultimately transformed her heart. She never wavered from being a devout follower of Christ and was forever transformed by his friendship and love.
Saintly Friendships
It’s so important to reflect on friendship and, more importantly, on how we can be supportive through trials as well as triumphs, through thick and thin. We can learn from John and Mary how to show the unwavering love of a friend. Take time to connect with friends to show your support and love, even if it means a just quick text or call to say hello. It doesn’t have to take up too much time; simple moments of love can move mountains.
For those of us who are mothers, let us be an example to pass on to our children to teach them the importance of being a true friend and giving with a whole heart to others. True friendship is a gift from God that we should nurture and cherish in every moment.
St. John the Evangelist and St. Mary Magdalene, pray for us and help us to always spread love to the people around us. Intercede to help us to spread the message of Christ’s compassion through our friendships, just as you each did for him throughout his life and after his death and resurrection.
Christina Sabo is the director of enrollment and public relations for St. John Paul II Catholic High School within the Diocese of Pensacola-Tallahassee. She strives to take in every moment of the day with a joyful heart, loves spending time with her family, and enjoys the great outdoors during her free time. You can read some of her past work through The Happy Little Seed and follow her on social media or connect through LinkedIn.