Dealing With Negative Emotions in the Workplace—and Helping Your Team Do the Same
“The world tells us to seek success, power and money. God tells us to seek humility, service and love” (Pope Francis)
Recently, a member of my leadership team approached me for advice in dealing with difficult team members. She was specifically hoping to obtain some guidance on finding effective ways to resolve negative feelings she had been having toward her team related to ongoing problems—feelings of resentment, disappointment, and, at times, anger. The hope was to receive some “pearls of wisdom” that could change her team’s behavior and, therefore, reset harmony in her department.
Leadership is never easy. We’re asked to lead teams of professionals with many different backgrounds and varying opinions, beliefs, and faith lives. The role of the leader is to shepherd the team to achieve goals and make a meaningful contribution to the organization’s overall purpose. But when life shows up, as it has in powerful and unique ways over the past two years, our emotions and fears often hinder team effectiveness. Below are three Biblical business perspectives that you can apply to virtually any unsavory situation with your team:
1. Check Yourself First
As leaders, we establish credibility when we do what we say and say what we do. Too often, poor behavior within our team mirrors our own behavior or is a result of our own inconsistent leadership. When we fall short of being a patient yet steady and firm mentor and struggle with feelings such as hurt, frustration, anger, and bitterness, it’s often best to pray for ourselves first. We can do so with breathless prayers said throughout the day, such as, “God give the strength and patience to be effective with this team member. Please, point my feet and my efforts in the direction you know is best.”
But even with prayers for patience, wisdom, and strength for ourselves, we can fall down. Why is this the case, when God will always answer our prayers when they align with His mission? At times, we convince ourselves that praying for a change is all that we need to do, but it isn’t. As leaders, we need to respond to the grace God gives us: We need to do our part in overcoming our leadership shortcomings.
2. Timing Is Everything
Often, we believe that we must deal with poor behavior on our team immediately and firmly—which is where many leaders get it wrong. Human beings are constantly dealing with a multitude of issues and emotions. God understands them, but we may not. Taking the time to discern the best time to approach the situation is a skill learned only through prayer, patience, and reflection.
The best leaders get to know their team members in a way that is honest, genuine, and personal. Learning to observe subtle mood shifts on our team can help us identify the best time to discuss problem behaviors effectively. Jesus demonstrated this skill abundantly in His leadership (see Luke 22:24-30). The best conversations happen only after we’ve been able to open our hearts to God’s grace and our team members have been able to open their hearts in reflection as well. Then, authentic servant leadership takes place.
3. Lead With a Grateful Heart
Too often, it’s easy for the best leaders to become cold, resentful, and frustrated. It’s during these times that we find ourselves with a hardened heart—too focused on our problems instead of our blessings and solutions. But good leaders know that every human being is a gift, not a curse. And God gave each team member unique talents that he or she, in turn, gives to us (see John 17: 7-10). It’s our job as leaders to build trusting relationships so that we can draw out those creative talents.
It’s important as leaders to be grateful—truly grateful—and express that gratitude not only in prayer but publicly to our team. Gratitude is the great equalizer, and there is so much to be grateful for. Gratitude can realign our emotions, lift our spirits, give us hope, and fill us with authentic spiritual joy. But we must practice and cultivate it daily. The more we see the blessings in being a leader, and the blessings of the members of our team, the more we grow in gratitude. And the more we grow in gratitude, the more we are blessed with authentic leadership, influence, and team members who rise to support each other by living the culture you’ve created.
By bringing our prayer life into our business and leadership life more fully, our teams will become easier to influence through a more peaceful perspective that we achieve in ourselves first. Those feelings of disruption … well, they likely will not go away completely. But, by being more receptive to the Holy Spirit and ongoing prayer, our workplaces can become more sacred—even in a secular company.
Since founding RMD Advertising in 1992, Sue Reninger as been responsible for the complete strategy and direction of RMD’s Columbus-based flagship office. She has also co-founded Wagons Ho Ho Ho, a 501c3 charity that serves children in dire need with HOPE. Sue has been honored with the prestigious NAWBO Visionary Award and Marketer of the Year from the American Marketing Association.